Stream of Consciousness

I know how to play the game unfortunately. I am usually not clueless when chico is interested. Normally I like this chico by the time it gets to a pivotal point though, ready to give either the go ahead or not. This time, for the first time in my life, I'm not actually sure.

Chico is surprisingly persistent. I normally give chicos a little nudge in the right direction, but how does one give a nudge if one doesn't know what direction to nudge in? Ah, dang it I forgot about that mission farewell. Maybe that's the answer to the question though... I normally know by now so my indifference could be telling. But how does one tell chico that they just want to be friends? Okay, accounting is due at 10 so that would be good to do, plus I think that cooking this... what is that. Can one even be friends with chico? Chico has been told, but chico didn't necessarily hear. I think. I still can't believe I lost my watch in a freaking foam pit. Actually, I'm pretty sure he didn't because that's the impression I got as chico tried to hold my hand today. My hands were not quite in my pockets, but pretty darn close. But, I mean, it was nice to be able to walk in the sunshine so much today I guess. Where does this bravery come from? Pillowtalk by Zayn... hmmm. I am starting to get a glimpse into what I must be like to other chicos. Could I live life as a shy person... yeah, no. I should be less brave; does that mean I like the chico more or less to make chico have to guess? Does chico actually like me? What is the meaning of dating? Should we make it easy for chicos to approach us or should we just pray for someone to come to us? It apparently works for some. If he could pick me up on a horse, now that's what I'm talking about. Maybe I need to have some more faith building experiences. Maybe I just don't like chicos. That could be it. Chicos are confusing. Not that I'm not. Cause then chico is nice, and I am so comfortable when I'm around chico. But I don't like chicos right now. And he doesn't pay attention in class. How can chicos be so zen like. Does it matter?

Chicos.
I could use some chocolate.

Dating is awkward sometimes...

You know how most couples remember their first date, how they felt, what they thought, the activities they did, and when it was?

Well... we're a little different.

We haven't quite figured out what our first date was, and not just because we've been friends for forever, or because we've done so many fun things we just can't remember which one.  No, those would actually be honorable excuses.  We were just looking at the two different options we've got as "first date," and we don't want to claim either of them.  So, maybe we'll let you choose.  Which of these two awkward experiences was our first date?

Option #1: Happened after we were actually dating.  What kind of couple doesn't date until after they're dating?  Shame.  However, the date was a good one.  It was fun, we went dancing and to a Peruvian restaurant, but again, did I mention we were already dating?  So how did it begin?  We're not really sure...  :P

Option #2: This was actually before we started dating.  So, that takes the cake, right?  Sure, if you're ok with saying that our first date was accompanied by my father.  It was like one of those eastern cultures where the parents set you up, go with you on your dates, and make sure that you don't get too... touchy.  No holding hands until you're married, guys.  That's what this date was like.

So.... When was our first date?  It might be better if we just keep saying we're not sure.  :P

-Sara