Hi, this is Sara.
Let me tell you a cautionary tale of why men and women can never be just friends, and why you should just be straight out when you try to tell men that you are not interested.
With that as an intro, here we go. Once upon a time I had this friend (extra emphasis on the friend part), who asked me out on a date. So I went and had a good time. Little did I know what I was setting myself up for. You know how if you let a little teeny snowball roll down a hill it keeps growing and growing until it eats everything in its path? This guy was a very quick moving snowball.
The whole time we were on the next couple of dates (all within a week of each other, I might add), I was terrified that he was going to make a move. Deise had told me that he was going to try to hold my hand, and I told her that he definitely wasn't going to try this because "we were just friends." Guess he didn't really know that part. I kept my hands (both of them, to be extra cautious) deep inside my pockets the entire date. It got a little difficult when I tripped and almost face planted into the concrete, but I managed. I thought that would be a big enough hint, or that at least it wouldn't give him any opportunities. Smart, right?
WRONG.
Sometime during the date he must have gotten a surge of manhood, which really is a mix of insane bravery and immense stupidity. He reached INTO MY POCKET, grabbed my hand, and then turned his head and STARED at me. I guess he was trying to figure out how I would take it? All I know is that I felt like I needed to save face, so I held his hand for the rest of the date. Bad, I know. I could have just ended it there. But, I'm a wimp. I knew I had to end it soon.
We went on the next date (I know! I'm a horrible person. I don't break up with people well, especially if I'm not even dating them in the first place... plus he gave me a flower. A FLOWER!) and I was trying so hard not to tell him straight out that I wasn't interested. I just really didn't want to hurt him worse than necessary. So, he takes a deep breath and then begins to pour his heart out to me in a beautiful ballad. He had definitely rehearsed this. He asked how I felt about us dating, and I knew this was my only chance to end it.
"When it comes to relationships, I'm really slow. I need to keep dating other people, I'm not quite ready for that kind of commitment."
I thought it went pretty well. Then it keeps the blame off of him, and I didn't have to break his heart by telling him I just wasn't interested at all. So, he's gonna back off and give me the space I asked for, right?
WRONG.
He thought about what I had said for a moment, and then said with some squeaky desperation in his voice, "I get that you're slow, but just so you know, even if our relationship moves the speed of a GLACIER, I'd still be in for the long haul."
I actually burst out laughing before I realized he was serious. I told him I'd let him know if I was ready (kind of a "don't call me, I'll call YOU" sort of thing).
Moral of the story, tell people earlier that you're not interested. Or don't, and you'll get a flower. Your choice.
